How to survive Christmas without turning to food to cope

Hang on Bex, I love Christmas! What do you mean ‘survive’…?

Well, let’s be honest – Christmas sometimes is all about survival.

There’s a huge amount of pressure to make Christmas ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ – and this year, (sort of) post the Covid wash-out that was last Christmas – is absolutely no exception.

Why do we think that getting the whole family together on a specific date in December will be any different to getting them together at any other time of the year? If weddings and summer BBQs in your family are likely to result in blazing family rows, then logic will tell you that Christmas will do the same.

There’s a ‘sparkle and fairy dust’ rose tint on anything to do with silly season, where TV adverts, celebrities and magazines are all clamoring to show us their ‘perfect Christmas celebration’ – and of course, we think that we need to live up to that, too.

You know the saying that ‘even Beyoncé doesn’t look like the Beyoncé in the pictures’?

Same goes here.

The Christmas you see in the John Lewis advert?

Doesn’t exist in reality.

Christmas can be all about survival – nothing says ‘impending disaster’ like 25 days in a row of forced fun, Christmas parties, way too much alcohol and way too little sleep. Add into that wallets being stretched on presents you don’t really want to buy and the thought of spending 3 hours on a packed Christmas eve train squished amongst suitcases and hungover grey faces who all feel exactly the same, and it’s no surprise that sometimes the only option feels like nose diving head first into the Celebrations to eat your feelings, counting the hours until normality resumes and you can remove the novelty reindeer antlers that your Aunt thought would be ‘hilarious’ to buy everyone.

So why turn to food to cope?

One word:

Pleasure.

Food is a really quick, easy way to get pleasure – which is what your body wants in any stressful, tense or emotional situation.

Uncle Barry doing your head in with his racist, sexist ‘jokes’? You want the pleasure of getting away from him.

Jealous of Jen from the office’s ‘perfect’ Christmas that she is flashing all over Instagram at regular hourly intervals? You want the pleasure of that to be your reality, too. (Side note – no ones life is as perfect as it appears on Instagram!)

Hungover as f**k at work and feel like you can’t remember the last time you ate a vegetable? You want the ‘pleasure’ of feeling normal again.

None of them are easy to achieve.

What is?

Pleasure and satisfaction from food.

It’s no surprise that in any time of heightened emotion, you tend to reach for foods high in sugar, fat and calories. After all – they are highly satiating, and give instant pleasure. As I talk about in my blog post about emotional eating, no one is stress-eating broccoli.

You’re turning to crisps, chocolate, cake, pastry, cheese – feel good foods which make you feel oh-so-good… until they don’t.

Approximately 5 seconds after you’ve demolished the last novelty reindeer poo of the pack, you start to feel guilty and bad about yourself, ashamed that you’ve ‘over eaten’ (again) and vowing to ‘make up for it’ somehow – whether that’s an extended gym session in the morning or adding yet another couple of days on to the ‘new year new me’ detox you’ve got planned.

Sound familiar?

Emotional eating is totally normal – everyone does it, whether they realise it or not.

The difference?

Diet culture makes you feel guilty as hell about it – meaning that not only have you not solved your original problem, you’ve created yourself a second one (the guilt and shame) as well.

So – now you know WHY you are likely to turn to food to deal with Christmas this year – what can you do about it?

First things first

Be kind to yourself. Christmas rolls around once a year, and if your one way to cope is through food, then that’s OK. Beating yourself up about it and feeling guilty won’t solve anything – don’t make yourself feel worse than you already do.

Identify your triggers in advance

When are you most likely to turn to food to cope? Is it in work after a boozy night out with too many shots and not enough sleep?

Perhaps it is at your annual uni reunion where everyone seems to bang on about their ‘perfect’ lives – perfect husband, perfect kids, the house they’ve just bought – while you are still sharing with four other people in a terrace a little bit *too* far away from the tube?

If you can recognise in advance the situations you are likely to find stressful, you can do something about them.

Set boundaries

Make it a priority to still get 8 hours of sleep a minimum of two or three work nights per week, and plan a long lay in at the weekend to rest. No, sleep can’t be banked – but a couple of weeks of this won’t hurt.

Set yourself a time limit to stay at events you’d really rather not attend but feel obliged to – and make it clear to the host in advance so you don’t feel guilty for leaving. You don’t need any crazy or wild excuse – a simple ‘thanks so much for the invite, I’ll be there but I have to leave at 2’ will suffice.

And be clear about them

Especially when it comes to conversations you don’t want to have.

Why is it that people think it’s OK to comment on other peoples bodies, life choices or political beliefs? And more to the point, think they are appropriate Christmas lunch topics?!

 Conversations around these (/ insert your topic of choice here) can be enraging at the best of times – so pre-prepare a few lines to have up your sleeve in advance if they are likely to come up.

‘Actually, James and I aren’t having children. This isn’t something that’s open to discussion’.

‘I’d prefer it if you didn’t comment on my body. Its normal to fluctuate and I’m working hard to understand that bodies are all neutral’

‘My food choices aren’t up for debate – I’m eating what I know will satisfy me right now’

Something along those lines should shut up any over-inquisitive relatives, pronto.

Finally, schedule in time to decompress, doing something that you love

Whether that’s a walk in the fresh air, a hot bath (I’m such a cliché, I know), time out to be by yourself, play some music, do some art, scream, dance – whatever feels good for you.

You don’t have to dedicate the entire month of December to pleasing other people – make sure that you plan in some time to do whatever makes you happy.

There you have it –

Now you understand why Christmas can be so stressful, why you might turn to food to cope and I’ve given you my five tips to survive. Remember:

1.       Be kind to yourself

2.       Identify any potential triggers in advance

3.       Set clear boundaries

4.       Stick to them!

5.       Schedule in time for you, doing something that you love.

And you know what, if it does all go to sh*t and you do end up burying your feelings in a pile of mince pies and brandy butter… that’s OK too. Christmas comes around just once a year, and sometimes it is just about survival.

If you’d like to learn more about emotional eating – be sure to check out the blog I wrote on it here and don’t forget, you can download my free guide with 5 tips to help you stop emotional eating right here!